Bombastic 'Mo

Cover Letter: Volume 2

In my never-ending search for gainful employment, I stumbled across a job that requested I write an “apology to a fictional game community that was not able to log in to their game for 24 hours due to a server outage”.

As such, I sent them this.  Too subtle?

To all of our fans:

Let me take this opportunity to apologize for the recent downtime of our hit MMORPG, Harry’s Ice Rink Extravaganza: Mice Everywhere.

We here at Company Name know how much our community of casual gamers loves H.I.R.E: M.E. We share in your enthusiasm and are dedicated to providing the best online games at the highest quality of service.

Unfortunately, during a recent patch, two of the H.I.R.E: M.E. servers went down and we were unable to restore them for over 24 hours.

In order to address this problem in the future, Company Name is installing two additional servers to support the growing demand for H.I.R.E: M.E. We hope the additional hardware will prevent any future shortages.

Once again, our apologies go out to all who were frustrated by the delay. Company Name is dedicated to providing the best possible online experience for all users, and we look forward to seeing you online.

Devin Glaser
Community Coordinator
Company Name

Craigslist Cover Letter: Volume 1

In response to another vague offer in the Writing and Editing Section of Craigslist, I sent the following snippet.  Pretty please?

Hi, I saw your craigslist ad and wanted to throw my hat in the ring.  I’m an avid writer, and super-unemployed during this recession.  Please find my attached resume, references, and writing samples.

Rather than provide a cover letter, since it’s kind of unclear from your post what I’d be describing, I just wanted to shoot out an e-mail begging for your attention.  Hire me.  I just unlocked the last Xbox Live Achievement in Fallout 3, so I have NOTHING to do each day.  Would love to write for your company.

Thanks,
Devin Glaser.